They forget the people who were there for them when they were struggling, and they don’t care because once they’re independent and financially stable, they become a totally different person.
A relationship with a narcissist is transactional. When they need you, they stay close. When they don’t need you, and another supply comes into the picture—someone who can meet their needs better—they discard you coldly.
This is why people don’t understand why they were discarded so coldly. It was transactional. The narcissist used you. Now they don’t need to use you anymore. They may have depleted your support, or they wanted a different source of supply. Or you may have started noticing the behavior and becoming resistant. So they decide it’s time to get rid of you.
As the old saying goes: when they don’t need you, they discard you. When they need you, they’re nicer—especially when they’re broke and need a place to stay.
And that’s why you don’t really know someone until you’ve seen them in different phases of life: when they’re happy, sad, depressed, angry, rich, and poor. A narcissist switches up. They’re not the same person when they have money, and they may use that money to target and destroy their “enemies.”
You see this in divorce situations, where a narcissist with money gets high-powered legal help and goes after assets, housing, and custody. They can be more dangerous than a broke narcissist because they have resources.
Some people think they can help the narcissist because they believe the story about having it rough. They offer help, patience, and support—then the minute the narcissist is stable, they don’t need you anymore.
They have no loyalty to the people who were there for them and tried to help them. They’re only focused on themselves. They don’t care who they hurt if it benefits them.
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