And when that validation seems boring to them, or when they’re not getting as much validation as they wanted or needed in that moment, that’s when they’re going to start to devalue and discard—because they have to move on to the next. They have to keep going, keep running toward that new source of supply.
When you’re with a narcissist, it feels like you’re on a hamster wheel. Like no matter what you do, you can’t get ahead. This relationship that you’re desperately trying to save—for whatever reason—just goes nowhere. It just keeps going. You keep spinning.
And I suspect that the narcissist’s life kind of feels the same way, too. It’s a little bit different for them, but it’s the same deep drive for external validation, for that supply. They just have to keep going, keep running toward it in hopes that they’ll get it, and that they’ll feel it—and they don’t.
The good news is that if you feel like you’re on your own hamster wheel with a narcissist, you can get off. If you have the things that we talked about here today—and you have the ability to get off that hamster wheel and find that genuine happiness—then you can change your path.
And so instead of waiting for the narcissist to get their karma, understand that they’re already living it. It is not fun to be a narcissist, even if they want to project that onto you. And the very things that they hate—the very things that they see as weaknesses in you—are the very things that contribute to your overall well-being.
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